She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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