i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
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definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
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No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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