Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
