i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Rumble strips road head = magical
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Randomize
