I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
