My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster