Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
