I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
