I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
