you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I need moral support for this bender
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
