That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
