Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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