I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
