we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
