when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
