everyone is single if you try hard enough
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
