This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
