I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize