you have to choose: penises or morals?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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