There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
