Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
