Screwed.edu
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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