THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
