I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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