I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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