I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
