i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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