I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
