Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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