my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
