Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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