I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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