yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Someone came in the potted fern
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
