i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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