no, he came in my armpit
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
