dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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