I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
