I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
