I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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