I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
