you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize