everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
