I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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