forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize