Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
