you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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