Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize