He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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