ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
