I am in a vortex of obligation.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
