i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
