We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
