Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
